Andrew Jeffrey - The Mathemagician

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Andrew's blog

27 July 2007

Arrested by The Force in London today!

It is a sad fact of life that one of the things which defines us as we get older is the films we grew up with.

So to those of you who are aware of my age, it will come as little surprise to anyone of similar vintage to know that today I was in London at County Hall visiting the Star Wars 30th Anniversary exhibition. It was particularly appropriate as this trip was itself an anniversary gift from the ever-gorgeous SWWLTBO. Married for exactly 16 years today! It was good (without being excellent), and well worth a visit, but probably only if you are already a Star Wars fan - it is not going to convert you.

Like many people my age, I enjoyed the first three episodes to be released (Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi) much more than the recent ones (which curiously are episodes 1, 2 and 3, just to muddy the waters still further).

However, I was really impressed by the extraordinary care, skill and detail that had gone into all 6 films. Many of the original models were there, including a full-size pod racer from Episode 1. There was even a Jedi training school, and Darth Vader and the Emperor both made an appearance. There was loads of fascinating behind-the-scenes footage too, and the chance to make your own blue screen DVD for a few extra pounds.

I was trying to have my picture taken with a Jedi knight but just then was attacked by two storm troopers and forced into custody, just long enough for Alison to take this photo:

After that we wandered along the South Bank to the National Theatre, across Vauxhall Bridge and into Covent Garden where we picked up some lunch and checked out the street performers. We took our lunch to the National Gallery where we sat on the grass and ate to the sounds of a fabulous busking violinist. (London is a bit like Brighton but without the sea. Still good, though.) We had some time to spare, so popped inside to drool over a few impressionist paintings - I am always mesmerised by the huge Rousseau and Seurat pieces near the entrance - as well as some stonking Van Gogh and vibrant Rembrant stuff (you can probably tell what a great art expert I am by my vivid descriptions, but hey - 'I know what I like').

After this came a short hop through Marble Arch, St James Park and another great photo opportunity, before catching the train back to the 'sarf coast' and of course the offspring. It just wanted someone to be playing 'perfect day' in the background, really! Especially the bit that says "I'm glad I spent it with you"...

No lessons learnt today, except the super-obvious 'Reminder-To-Self' that simple pleasures such as sandwiches on lawns, walks on bridges, paintings and buskers are every bit as enjoyable as wonderful displays and awesome special effects.

Particularly if the company is so good.

Posted by Andrew at 20:26    Comments (0)

17 July 2007

Final Week Ever!

Last week marked the end of my twenty year teaching career. It was a rollercoaster ride, starting with the performance of the Year 6 musical, Thunderbard, and ending with their graduation party at Hove Rugby club. More of that later.

The play was a great success, despite (or perhaps because of) a less-than-successful dress rehearsal. The children excelled themselves, and the parents were happy, giving the children the credit they deserved for pulling out all the stops in what was actually a very complex show, with music, dancing, drama, and special effects.

On Thursday we had the school prize-giving at the local church and I was anxious that I would dissolve like a big girl's blouse during my singing, with Year 6, of "We'll Meet Again". After some very good suggestions from my online friends at the TES, I managed to avoid this.

I'd forgotten what a huge church it was. I managed to get through the 'Gospel According to you' poem OK. I was invited to hand out some prizes - no problem there...

Then, "We'll Meet Again" (children and I standing in an arc) was going OK until the parents started to lean into the aisle with camcorders. Some of them looked a bit tearful.

(Top tip for any Year 6 teachers faced with weeping leavers soon; go to the local pound shop and buy up their entire stock of hankies; the children will thank you, it makes them laugh that you keep producing hankies from pockets, and it helps lighten the mood).

Right at the very end the Head said 'and there is actually just one more thank-you we need to make - Mr Jeffrey will you please come forward'. I steeled myself for a handshake and a bottle of Teachers and a 'thank-you-everyone-I've-loved-it-here', but as I walked up she said "A few words from Mr Jeffrey!" Help!

I whisper that I don't have anything prepared to say but obviously as she has walked right away from the lectern I have no choice. As I prepare to go up to the microphone I turn and am shocked to see there are 400 staff, parents and children cheering and clapping!

Eventually they quieten down(more than their offspring usually manage) and I say something vaguely coherent, but still just about manage to keep the floodgates shut. Afterwards, I reflect that I was quite grateful not to be warned - I would have worried all morning!

On Friday morning I read them the sunscreen poem in assembly, and was presented with a card signed by every child in the school and beautifully illustrated. I strongly suspect that my friend and successor Judith was instrumental in that wonderful gesture. I also got a very cute little monkey with the school logo emblazened on it - I will try to add a photo soon. And here it is, as promised:


We broke up at luncthime, and had a staff lunch. I played my photostory to them rather than make a speech, and was presented with some beautiful (and gorgeously wrapped, unsurprisingly, by Betty the Bursar) and quite undeserved gifts; a fabulous card, too - I will keep it long after the other things are old or gone.

In the afternoon I set about burning 14 CDs (yes, I know, small class!). After I had done about 10 of them I thought I would check to see whether all was going according to plan; it wasn't! When I played them back, only the soundtrack was there - none of the pictures. Disaster!

Somewhat stressed about what could so nearly have been the perfect gift, and counting the hours till I had to be at Hove Rugby Club (oh yippee, barn dancing) I realised that I had not saved it in what I believe is called 'Highmat' format apparently, but only as 'audio'. My fault for not being a technical wizard...

So feeling a little dejected, (and wearing yet another cool gift from my extraordinarily generous parents - a t-shirt with '07' on the back, and 'Andrew's Angels' plus a big picture of the whole flock taken at the Isle Wight on the front) I decided I could wait no longer and walked up to the Rugby Club. Feeling curiously nervous, due in no small part to the inevitability of the Macarena ordeal ahead, I decided to enter as unobtrusively as possible through a side door. There was no need to worry - it proved to be an evening where the reception was as warm as the grolsch was cold.

I couldn't believe how friendly the parents were! You wouldn't believe the hugs and kisses coming my way. And the mums were the same.

It was nice to see everyone dancing and having fun - there were no dissenting voices when the caller asked for dancers; even the boys were happy to take part. Barn dancing is one of those things that you dread, but is fantastic fun when you actually join in; why is that?!) And yes, we did the macarena, and it was fine - the parents joined that in as well.

One boy whose mum was my partner in a barn dance asked her halfway through if 'Mr Jeffrey was pi**ed?' She told him not to be rude but he just chuckled. (Just for the record, I wasn't, but that question pretty much sums up my dancing skills.)

I knew they had a gift for me but nevertheless when they presented it together with two huge cards, one from the parents and one from the class, I was still dumbstruck.

There is a pen shop in the Lanes in Brighton called 'Websters' where I sometimes go to browse and drool but never to purchase. One of the mums owns a shop round the corner from there and as she presented me with a gorgeous black Mont Blanc pen, she whispered "Don't worry - I know the manager so he let me have it for less."

I remain unsure what my exact response was, or indeed what it should have been, but I do hope that the words 'thank you' appeared somewhere.

Forced to make a speech, I declined, as I had said everything I wanted to say earlier in the week, so I handed out the CDs as my gift, explaining somewhat sheepishly that the burning process had gone wrong (I let them into the secret that the term I use at school when I make a mistake was that this was a 'competence issue'; parents laughed, kids just looked baffled). Time to play the photostory - as the rugby club had a big projector and sound system I had been able to sneakily plug in my laptop to show it loud and large. They sat down on the dance floor then it started. Job done.

At about 10:30pm we all piled out happy and tired. 14 soggy hugs later I got a lift home and just felt very, very peaceful. Maybe that was just the Grolsch, but I doubt it. Lift home with kind family who live near me, and another chance for us to have a laugh watching the photostory on the laptop in the car.

I only got round to reading the cards the next morning and as other teachers have rightly said, their hand-written comments are the most treasured of all the gifts.

Good luck to any of Year 6 who are reading this - of everything that Windlesham has meant to me over the years, you are the most important, and will leave the biggest impression. Remember - whenever your teachers complain at you to try harder, it is because they consider that you are worth bothering about. If not, they would probably be earning much more money in another career!

Posted by Andrew at 9:06    Comments (8)

6 July 2007

Comments Suspended

Martial Law has been declared! I would like to say a big 'Thank you' to those of you who have taken the trouble to add comments to this blog, and make it much more interesting than just me going on about life.

However, you may have noticed that in recent weeks people have started (I suspect using automatic posting software) adding very inappropriate comments, some of them blatant and irrelevant advertising, others being of a more adult and highly tasteless nature.

I have therefore been speaking to Stu, my web designer this morning, and he is kindly suspending the ability to add comments until further notice.

I am very sorry that this is necessary - I am a big fan of free speech, but not at the expense of decent people who are innocently reading.

At some point soon I hope that the facility will be reintroduced, but only when Stu has had time to write the code necessary to prevent these nasty people spoiling what has been a great fun project so far.

Sorry to do this - I'm sure you will agree it is the best course of action.

Posted by Andrew at 11:58    Comments (3)

26 June 2007

The Cult of Celebrity

Come on Tim! Come on Dame Shirley!

Wimbledon and Glastonbury. And yet curiously, we're all still surprised that it's raining in June...

I've never been to Wimbledon and it remains the one UK venue I'd really like to 'bag', having done Wembley, Twickenham, Lords, the Millenium Stadium and of course Brighton's Withdean Stadium.

I got close to how it must feel last week, when we took Year 6 to Eastbourne to watch the Ladies Tournament at Devonshire Park. For those of you who don't know or don't care, this is the female equivalent of the Stella Artois tournament at Queens, the grass court tournament where the world's top women players go to prepare for SW19.

This was my first time (unless you count being a schoolboy and nipping over the wall) at this prestigious event and we were the guests of the Sussex LTA. It was an electric atmosphere - you could walk around, talk to the players, and I was six feet from Justine Henin, one of the hot favourites for Wimbledon, watching her knock up at frightening and breath-taking speed. There was an hour's tennis for them to play as well, with a range of fun games and equipment for them to use.

There was even a Nintendo Wii tennis game - my first attempt and it was weird hitting a non-existent ball with a non-existent racket. Much to my amusement, I couldn't stop myself miming tossing the non-existent ball with my left-hand as I 'served' ! It was an Ace!

We watched a thrilling game between Baltacha and Keothethong on centre court, which was neck and neck all the way. But did the children appreciate it? Did they really understand how good the tennis was that they were watching? Somehow I doubt it, especially when they were far more interested in running up to anyone who looked like they might be a player and getting their autograph.

Here's the thing - when I asked them whose autograph they had got, they didn't know. Or care! The fact that they had brushed with celebrity was for them more exciting than a first class tennis match between two of the country's top players.

I blame Big Brother, personally.

Posted by Andrew at 20:29    Comments (4)

16 June 2007

Three and Four

These were interesting numbers today. 3 of us went to a tennis lesson, then 4 of us went to the Rottingdean Lions Fair.

Much to my surprise, my son who is 3 won a prize for successfully rolling 3 trains through 3 arches. Then he won a coconut. I'm pretty sure the chap running the stall kindly and subtly kicked the stand just as the ball flew towards it...

My older son also managed to win a prize as one of his 3 corks fired from a gun hit a plastic duck and sent it flying from a shelf...

We then watched some toy pigs race. The 3-Year old son backed pig number 4 and won. Next we played 'pick a stick for 10p from the board'. 3-Year old son picked a stick with a red tip - he won £5!

I said he should buy his father a beer, mother said invest. Hmmm...

In the afternoon we went to Brighton Marina to watch the Fantastic Four. (of course). Stooped off at Asda to get some supplies and saw jelly babies on special offer. Get this - they cost 44p per packet. Pretty good, I thought. Imagine my excitement when I noticed that there was even better news - I could buy 3 packets for only £2!

Yes, read that again. How on earth can something like that happen these days?!

The film was, err, not fantastic but at least it finished at 4pm, and our own little fantastic four went home.

Posted by Andrew at 21:08    Comments (0)

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